Weirdest TV lines ever

Stargate SG-1 - Pilot

Samantha Carter: "It took us 15 years and 3 supercomputers to Macgyver a system for the gate on earth."

A nod to Jack O'neill's other show

I'm trying to remember the other odd line from Carter in the pilot. Something about her reproductive organs being on the inside. I'll have to re-watch "****ren of the Gods" to remember exactly what the line was.

yeah, that was Sam placing her stake. She'd yet to be accepted as one of the team, said something like 'just because my reproductive organs are on the inside instead doesn't mean I can't face the same crap you can'.

Just before that she butt heads w/ Kowalski;
Carter: "Don't worry, I played w/ dolls."
Kowalski: "What,,, G.I. Joe?" <snicker>
Carter: ".....Major Matt Mason." <stares>

Another funny from SG-1. Whenever Bratak, Teal'c's mentor would meet Gen. Hammond he would motion around his own head, indicating baldness, while greeting; "Hammond... of Texas"


Part sci-fi nerd here.

How about Smallville;
James Marsters (Who played Spike in Buffy) character Braniac, saying to Clark Kent. "Clark,,, there's no such thing, as Vampires"
a neat in-joke

What was really funny was the brief Simpsons discussion on Stargate between O'Neill and Joe the Barber (played by Dan Castellaneta, the voice of Homer and other characters).

Joe: "Burns as Goa'uld! I totally see it!" (or something to that effect).

[quote="Chip Saregood"]and "Awww, i donwanna explode." [Serenty]
/quote]

I like the exchange between Mal and Wash before that a bit better:

Wash: If we don't get it fixed this landing's going to get real interesting.
Mal: Define interesting.
Wash: Oh God. Oh God, we're all going to die?

''live long & prosper''

You guys can youtube the clip, but recently on a local fox news channel, the anchor said "Keep fucking that chicken" and then proceeded to act super creepy towards his female co anchor.

Both Firefly and Buffy are rich sources of great material...

Firefly:

Jayne: "Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..."

Buffy:

As 'military dude' is describing Buffy to his partner, his partner says "Yes, already! She's hot. She's cool. She's tepid. She'll all-temperature Buffy."

How about 'House, M.D.?' (Best...show...ever!) Here's a weird one:

House: "He drilled a hole in your skull after drinking your pee. I think he's up for this."

I was watching poker and the announcer said something like: "blow his big stack". It just struck me as funny.

If you want to watch something with somebody says a double entendre like constantly, watch an NBA game.

"He drives to the hole and scores"
"He's being double teamed"
"He's gotta attack the hole"
"He drives and pulls out to shoot"
etc.

An all-time classic exchange on Johnny Carson, from the 60's:

Johnny, to Arnold Palmer's wife: "Do you do anything special, the night before a tournament, to help your husband?"

Mrs. Palmer: "I kiss his balls."

The audience erupts, because that is EXACTLY the kind of stuff they LOVED to see, back in the 60's, on late night television.

When they quiet down enough for Johnny to be heard again, he leans into the mike, the audience hushes a bit, and he says:

"I'll bet THAT makes his putter stand out."

One of my favorite line from Buffy is when she's working at the Double Meat Place and Dawn takes a bite of a burger and says "It's like a meat party in my mouth." and follows it up right away with " Ok I'm just a k i d and I know that doesn't sound right."