wanking styles

LOFL.... try http://preterhuman.net/texts/sex/Info/ for some interesting sexual info texts...


The Lesser Known Karma Sutra
But i'm sure we have all used one of these techniques before!!!

1. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)


2. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.


3. Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western.


4. The Blumpkin - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.


5. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head.
This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.


6. Golden Shower - Any form of pissing all over a chick (a.k.a.- watersports)


7. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.


8. Reverse Pearl Necklace - Not so well known. Lying on your back with your legs in the air - cum over your own neck/chest area - Can be tricky to get right (Tip - Keep mouth firmly shut whilst performing this)


9. Sleeping Beauty - Lying next to a sleeping girl and using her hand to jerk you off - This takes a lot of concentration, so as not to get too excited and wake the chick up!


10. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
_________________
Stop. Go. Terry.

Damn...

good info at these sites:


www.letsmasturbate.com


www.jackinworld.com

This may upset you,
but being a skeleton I have no penis

if anyone would like to donate one let me know

Mrs Bobbit is on my payrole and I'll send her around to collect

Sorry mate, can't donate my penis.. its worn to such a degree that normal surgical instruments will not penetrate the flesh to cut it off even if I wanted to (which I don't)...

Will my cactus do?
_________________
Stop. Go. Terry.

no thanks for the offer Terry but the needles would get caught in the bones of my pelvis and make silvoing myself and antirusting to hard but nice of you to offer

heres a bit of a nightmare

Just had an X-ray and it appears I won't be needing mine anymore...

Should I PM it to you?
And does PM stand for "Penis-Mail"?

i'm not a pornstar man.. LOL

[quote="ConTractor"]Ok, I will go first!

I get up around 06am. Then I take a shower. After showering I rub my body in a mix of bodylotion, goatmilk and fetacheese. Then I put my phone up my ass (I like phonesex), tie a pantyhose around my balls, log into TF or AF, paint my toenails and then start to hit my penishead with a dead mouse. After about 10 minutes I normally cums. Twice! I repeat this for about 4 hours. Then I work a little...have a nap and then starts all over again!

Anyone got turned on? :D[/quote]

[quote="ConTractor"][quote="Elmo"][quote="ConTractor"]Then I put my phone up my ass (I like phonesex)[/quote]

What kind of phone?[/quote]

My pesonal fav is flip-phones from Sony Ericsson AND it is important to turn on vibration and make it play "We are the world", for best satisfaction![/quote]

pietjesnot wrote:
LOL funny specifics