There's only 1 Jack Bauer

- You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

- If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

- Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

- Every time you masturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not because you masturbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.

- Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

- Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

- Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

- 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

- Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days. Wait, that is a real fact.

- Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

- Jack Bauer let the dogs out.

- Superman wears Jack Bauer pyjamas.

- Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

- If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

- Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

- Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

- Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

- When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.

- When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

- Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

- The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.

- Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

- Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

- People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

- It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.

- Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

- Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why theres no life on Mars.

- When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer

- Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.


(found at boreme.com)
_________________

I dont know if you are a true 24 fan, but i am...and i missed the show two weeks ago. i also failed to DVR it too boot.
Do you know anywhere on the web that i might go to that would have it for download?

any help here would be great!

winston wrote:

mininova.org or demonoid.com. Ill pm you an invite to demonoid.

angelus71 wrote:


Now I'm really impressed...


Funny shit angelus71

Even if Red Bull does give you wings, Jack Bauer will keep you on the fucking ground

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

Paul Raines didn't die from his injuries. He died of pure amazement when he saw the one and only Jack Bauer trying resuscitate him.

Instead of buzzing, Jack Bauer's alarm clock screams out "THERE ISN'T ANYMORE TIME!"

If Jack Bauer had been the mastermind behind the robbery in "Ocean's Eleven", it wouldn't have been much of a movie, because all he would have had to do, would be to walk into the Bellagio and say "My name is Jack Bauer. Give me 163 million dollars. NOW!" End of story.

Jack Bauer does not watch breaking news, he breaks the fucking news.

Due to his inability to get drunk off anything other than the misplaced trust of those weaker than himself, Jack Bauer has been the undisputed CTU beer pong champion for the last twelve years.

Jack Bauer doesn't have a cigarette after sex. He has sex again.

Jack Bauer taught his ki.ds to be potty trained by pointing a gun at their heads and strapping their arms to a nuclear device; they had 3 minutes.

If you shoot Jack Bauer in a dream, you'd better wake up and apologize.

If you dare read Jack's file, the first thing he's going to do is cut out your left eye...

Jack Bauer once told God he needed access, the event has since been referred to as "The Big Bang."

Jack Bauer will even beat Chuck Norris: Google-fight

...when Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Even when crying for his mummy Jack still looks cool:


Jack Bauer would laugh in the face of danger, but Jack Bauer doesn't laugh.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

If Jack Bauer was a moderator on this forum, he would always stay calm.

Jack Bauer would have thaught qazwsx1 how to post in only two minutes. (or four maybe)

LOL ... i´m no 24 Fan, but i read these kind of Topics with Chuck Norris!

werf wrote:

Damn, I should have called him

Glad to have you back, Mr. Mole!!!! The forum ain't quite the same without ya! Now let's make a deal - I'll help everyone find their keys if you agree to stay out of my garden!!!!

Grimble = )~

Wow,

In holland we only know Frans Bauer, a famous singer (for the dutch people)
I think I like your Bauer more.

saakie wrote:

LMFAO Saakie on top



o and yea welcome back vermin ....

saakie wrote:



Fuck me, I think that´s Werf? Huh... figures..

someone79 wrote:

Yeah, what he said. See this thread:

https://www.forumophilia.com/topic8934.html

Good stuff A-71 and Werf. But evidently we need to have a battle with Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer. Even though I've never seen 24, my money's on Jack. Anyone who kills terrorists as much as I masturbate must be one Bad-Ass Motherfucker.

RM

(Beam Down)
Agree
(Beam Up)

saakie wrote:

We Americans have a cage fighter to counter Frans Bauer....

MIT Media Lab Fashions

robyn217 writes "At MIT's Media Lab, researchers are developing fashion accessories on which patterns and designs can change according to the wearer's whim, and fashion prints can be shared virtually via wireless communication. This technology will be a real boon for fickle New York City baseball fans at the Subway Series in the future (they can simply flip a switch to change from a Mets to a Yankees jersey." Ua Richard would probably have other tings in mind...

sl

wtf was the topic anyway lol lol lol