some more dirty jokes?!?

A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their hands.

'Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

About 40 students raise their hands.

'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'

About 15 students raise their hand.

'Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'

Three students raise their hands.

'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further, have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'

Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture,
no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'

Ahmed replied, "Oh shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats..."

lol...


reminds me of the story of the scotch shepherd busy trying to get a sheep to hold still for long enough to sink his pecker... All of a sudden a beautiful fairy appears and asks him if she could do him a favor, it could really be anything he could wish for...

Answer: Yeah, sure, just grab the front legs for a minute...

Farmer John walks into the bar and asks for a beer, shaking his head and mutters "There are things you just can't explain..."

His buddy Ralph sits beside him: "Whassup, old pal? What can't you explain?"

John: "Well, I just went inna the stable to milk the cows, ya know? Just sat down, had the bucket under, but the damn beast was always hittin me with her tail. Well, methinks I just tie it up to the timber that holds the roof, then I got my quiet. Well. So I jest grab it, but the timber is too high up, so I take the stool and stand on it behind the cow. But then I 'member I ain't got no cord to tie it with. Heck I say, just take my suspenders. Well, I just do so. And just as I finish tying the tail fast and still stand on the stool behind the cow, my pants drop down, the stable door opens and the missus walks in... an' I tell ya, Ralph, my buddy, there are things you just can't explain..."

Merged use only one thread for same subject, since we are in the process of cleaning up the forum. It make it easier for everyone to find them. Thanks.

And now:
A man walks into a bar and sets down at the bar orders a drink.
The bartender brings over the drink and sets it in front of the man,
just then a little ten inch man jumps out of the mans pocket runs over
and pisses in his drink. Then he runs back and dives into his pocket again.
The bartender is amazed by this, the man asks for another drink and the
bartender brings it and the little guys appears again and this time he takes a shit in the mans drink. The bartender says where did you ever get that little
guy and why does he do that stuff. The man looks at the bartender and says
I found a bottle on the beach and there was a genie in it and he gave me one
wish, so I told him I wanted a ten inch prick...........

The moral is watch what you ask for.

Thanks for the effort!



Freddy asks his dad what the difference was between erotic and perverted. Dad thinks a while and says, "Erotic is if you tease a woman with a feather. Perverted is if the chicken is still attached..."

Shooting zombies is like eating pussy; you do it one at a time and it leaves quite a mess behind if you do it right.

lol


What is the sexual organ of an elephant?


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His foot... if it steps on you you're fucked...



one more:

Why does a dog lick his cock?


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because he can...

On one of my many travels in my old job, I came into a bar.
While I was sitting there, sipping my cold beer after a long day, I noticed an ugly guy sitting in a corner.
Why on earth am I interested in an ugly guy you may ask.
Well, I wouldn't have been if it wasn't for the most gorgeous girl sitting next to him.
At closing time the couple went up and walked away arm in arm.
I didn't thoght much about it then but when I got back the next day, the same guy where sitting in the same corner.
Only this time there where two beautiful ladys sitting with him.
None of them where the one from the night before.
At closing time the three of them stood up and walked away.
Now I started to be a bit curious.
On the third day, the guy was sitting there again with yet another one of Gods wonderful creations.
Now I couldn't hold myself. I had to find out.
I stepped up to the bartender and told him what I just have told you.
Asking the bartender what is the guy saying to get all those women.
Ugly Jethro, he said. He doesn't say much.
He usually just sits there, licking his eyebrows.
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these are fun jokes. i for the first time read some porn jokes lols.

A girl walks into a sex shop

"Do you sell condoms, 20 inches long ? " She asked the owner

"yes ", the owner repleyed

"is it ok, I wait here till a guy buy's a package ???" she asked

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One day at sexual education lesson on school.. little Annie said this.

My father has two penis's

One for peeing and one for brushing mamma's teeth

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Little Annie: What's a transvestite ??

Mother : Ask aunt Harry

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What will a blond put behind her ears to become attractive?




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Her ankels.
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svinto wrote:


And is works...
http://picturedumper.com/picture/20100812/19aba82d8e/4.jpeg



(Off-topic: you're blond too, aren't you Svinto?)

Well, I was when I was 5 but not now.
It has darkened and will soon do another change into ashgrey.
Besides, if I was blond and would have put my ankels behind my ears it would only be repulsive.

Another one.

If you put 10 blonds in a line, ear to ear. What do you get?




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A windtunnel.
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michaliegerad wrote:

Top notch mate!! Many, many thanks.

niterider69 wrote:

...and particularly watch the way you phrase your requests. Thank you.