Things we have learned from Porn

Women wear heels to bed

Men are never impotent

When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than enough

Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm

Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men

Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob

Women always orgasm when men do

A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket

All women are noisy fucks

People in the 70s couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background

A common and enjoyable sex practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt

Men always groan "OH YEAH" when they cum
If there is two of them they "high 5" each other and the girl isn't disgusted

Double penetration makes women smile

Asian men don't exist

There's a plot

When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt

Nurses suck patient's cocks

Men always pull out

Women never have headaches or periods

When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it"

Assholes are clean

A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned

Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there

Men don't have to beg

When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip

Women prefer to be fucked on a hard table or floor... it's more comfortable.

Pile drivers are better used in sex than in driving building supports into the ground.

Men stick their cocks into the mouths of cuties with braces... with no reservations

All women love the taste of semen and will not hesistate to use a catchy phrase when asked to describe it.

"Why yes, my anus is self-lubricating. Thanks for asking!"

Missionary position = Penis in vagina. No other body parts should be touching.

Every starlet must have at least three 'First time anal' scenes.

Teen = Under 30.

At the age of 18 women lose the ability to grow pubic hair.

Men have the uncanny ability to grow a condom immediately preceeding intercourse.

sure stick that telephone pole down my throat 'til I gag...it's such a turn on...

only after having a gangfuck with 15 of the largest dicks in porn will you have the privledge of sucking off the 60 year old pot-bellied producer sorry...

LMAO ubisuck nice follow up buddy

Babysitters have sex at every house they visit

Public nudity and sex happens everywhere

Policemen are offered sex wherever they go

Plumbers and builders get a women on every job

Women always make advances to their gardener

Dogging always happens at night

Many men don’t wear underpants

Girls knickers are always clean

At every big party some girl gets laid in front of the crowd

Girls want to suck a guys dick after it’s been up their asshole

Girls don’t eat cucumbers, they only put them in their pussy

Nobody recognises another porn star for who they are

Teachers only see pupils who are failing grades and the girls always have sex to get a pass

White girls have sex all the time, some Asian girls get it, few black girls do

Catholic girls, particularly those who have been taught by nuns, all want to make sex movies

Nuns and priests are at it all the time

Every girl picked up on the street will have sex with strangers

Nobody gets a phone call while they’re having sex

hehehehe, great additions

OK OK I \ am'm now ed-u-ma-cated ...thanks guys & gals ? but just so no one says I'm just a talker (actually a bit dyslexic), thought I'd share some of the new 'production locations for the sites nearest u'...caution adult material do not look:

Well I just dont see the conection?? there just buisness sign's , I dont think your keeping with the theme at all.

golly gee Mr. Mango I was only trying to fit in

(o, and boost my post count...what's wrong with THAT ! )

Well I can tell you that I have definitely learned a few things from porn.

The most important is when you right-click on a picture to choose "Save As" from the menu. Be very careful, especially if your boss walks into the office. It's very easy to accidentally select "Set as Wallpaper"

I hate when that happens.

Elmo wrote:


OK LOL its old everone use's it but I actually laughrd out lood at that, thanks geen meani eye neddled tat aloot!




Dammit steellion I scooled you before about bumpin up your post count